ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
