I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
