Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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