No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
