You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
