It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
