So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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