the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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