I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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