I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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