you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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