So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
where does the pee come out of this thing
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize