I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Randomize