My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
