drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
