we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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