Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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