so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
