I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize