I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
