Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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