Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
