I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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