She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
