I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
