just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
