left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize