Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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