Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
