Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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