Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
