I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We had to coat check the pizza.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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