i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
