it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
