Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
