I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
