remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Randomize
