Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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