Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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