dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
