my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
