Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
