You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
