How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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