Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
