I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
