I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
