You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
