Your tits are I can't wait for
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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