it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
