im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think your dad took our porno
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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