who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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