i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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