if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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