thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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