The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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