it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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