just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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