Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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