We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
third nipple confirmed
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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