I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
