My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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