Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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