woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
