I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize