I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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