he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
