I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
