well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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