I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
